Oye Chucky Chucky Oye - Part 1

A Wednesday,

Pavan (coolly): Any plans for Saturday?

Sarika (not expecting it): Why?

(Not so confident now) Well, my Kaamwali bai is not coming that day

What!

(Fumbling) Sorry, mera matlab, woh chutti pe hai, to mere ghar pe khana nahi banega, I was thinking of trying out some new restaurant in the town, would you like to join?

(Thinking) Damn! ek simple question bhi theek se nahin pooch sakta

hmmmm maybe friends ke saath koi plan nahi bana to, baadmein batati hoon

Friday Afternoon

Pavan working on his desk. Enter Chucky, his friend cum dushman well actually friend cum dushman jyada.

Chucky : Kya buddy aaj kal teri khabar dussron se milti hai

Pavan : Konsi khabar

Sirf khabar nahi Headline hai, u going on a date with Sarika !!

Date nahi hai, aisehi casual dinner, just like friends

Abe Karan Johar ki movie mein role mil gaya hai kya, aise cheesy dialogues mar raha hai

waise aaj kal tu mujhse tips wips leta nahi, bhool gaya I am the love guru (evil grin)

Maine kabhi bhi nahi mangi tu hi free mein deta rehta hai teri sadiyal tips. Tere se achaa to maine Rakesh se tips le loon.

Kon Rakesh?

That guy from our training batch, woh romance ki chalti firti kitaab.

Are woh item, woh kitaab nahi diary hai, pichle janam mein pakka Munim raha hoga, har cheez ka record rakhta hai, Aaj mujhe meri GF se mile hue hai 999 din 13 ghante 20 mins aur 10 secs, abhi 11 secs, abhi 12 secs abhi 13 secs .... diary ke 10 pages aise hi bhar gaye. Har date yaad hai us bande ko, Girlfriend ke saath khaye pehle papad ki, usne mare pehle jhapad ki. Mila tha kuch dino pehle Shopper’s Trap Mall mein, anniversary mana raha tha woh bhi akele !

Kya paka raha hai, aisi konsi anniversary hai jo akele manayega?

Girlfriend ne pehli baar dump ki thi uski :P

Woh chodd tujhe kuch kaam dhaam nahi din dhande timepass kar raha hai.

Ab kya batao, kaam nahi karo to problem, karo to usse badi problem. Ab initiative leke ek knowledge doc banaya tha, Manager ne reject kar diya

Tera woh big shot Manager, shayad uske standard ka nahi hoga

Kyaka big shot, hamesha dhonsh jamata rehta hai, I’m M.E. I’m M.E. pata hai M.E. ka matlab?

Kya ? Master of Engineering

Nahin yaar, Master of Excel, aur kuch aata hai usko

Waise document mein problem kya tha, kahin se tape marke banaya tha kya ?

Nahi re, ekdum original idea, across cultural sensitivity par.

Uska liye to session hota hai na.

Session hai lekin sabse kaam ki cheez to cover hi nahi karte woh log

Kya?

How to use the loo at the client location ? U know water – paper difference that can be tricky for some. Jab bhi koi onsite pe pehli baar jaata to andar se sirf ek hi awaaz nikalti ‘Thank you Chucky’

Achaa hua publish nahi hua, nahi to jo bhi tere is doc ka printout leta uske bhi ek hi kaam aata woh J

!@#$% topic hi pura change kar diya, bata kahan jaa raha hai date pe

Some Restaurant,decide nahi kiya.

Some restaurant, u disappoint me mate. No matter how hard I try, tere mein kuch style, class aata hi nahi, thoda upmarket ban, nahin to I can tell you now what will be fate of your date. Take her to Olive leaf

That continental restaurant on D.N Road. Sat evening, no chance, full house hoga, ek hafte pehle booking karna padhta hai

Abe dhakan, mein kis liye hoon, wahan ka manager mera bhakt hai, mera naam lete hue thakta nahi, just take my name, jagah ka setting aaram se ho jayega. Worst case D.N Road pe aur ek mast restaurant hai, Rajkumar, kind of concept restaurant, they serve only fresh food. It likes an untold secret, only few connoisseur of food like me know about it.

Saturday Evening, Olive leaf

Pavan (to Manager): Seat for two please

Manager: We are very busy today sir. Let me check it for you.

Disappears and re-appears after 15-20 mins.

Ohh you are still waiting. I am very sorry sir; it will take at least an hour.

Can’t you make it quicker, actually I am a friend of Chucky I mean Chandrakant,

(sudden change in tone) : Bhutni ke, tera satyanas ho, dhande ka time kyun khoti kar raha hain

Sir dost nahi sirf colleague hai, but woh to bol raha aap uske bhakt I mean aap usse hamesha yaad karte rehte hon

Bhoolonga kaise usko. Do hafte pehle aaya tha ek item ke saath, bahut shining mar raha tha aur bill bharne ka time aaya to paisa nahi. Wallet bhool gaya bola. Saath mein aayee ladki ne offer kiya to mana kar diya. Company ka card dikha ke accent marke bol raha tha I work for a reputed company, interest ke saath bhar doonga. @#@$%$% us din ke baad dikha bhi nahi. Sorry Sir, I don’t think we can accommodate you today.

Sorry Sarika, I had no idea aisa kuch hoga. There’s another nice place here, let’s go there.

Rajkumar Restaurant

(Itna sannata kyun hai bhai.

In a city where people exercise their right of eating out more than their voting rights, it was pretty unusual to find a restaurant so empty.

Izzat bacha le aaj meri bhagwan

Sarika: Let’s order something that will come real quick. I have to be home by 9 PM, got to chat with my brother in US

Pavan (to waiter): yahan jaldi kya milega

Waiter: Sabse Jaldi bill milega sir....... majaak kar raha hoon sir. Hum sab cheez fresh and fast banate hain, jo bolo milega.

Theek hai 2 Pav bhaji dena

Waiter to a boy there: Chandu, yeh le paise jaake Pav, Aalu, simla mirch, leke aa.

Are boss itna fresh nahi mangta hai, aisa koi item nahi hai kya jo hotel mein milega

Hain sir, masala dosa, rava dosa, sada dosa, bada dosa, utampam……………..

Ek masala dosa ek rava dosa aur haan jaldi

20 mins pass by, no sign of waiter

(shouting) Waiter

At your service sir

Dosa kab milega, foreign se import kar rahe hon kya

Sir special dish hai thoda time to lagega hi

Special ??!!!

Checks and comes back

Sir Dosa nahi milega

Kya ! ! !

Sir tawa karab ho gaya

Are, yeh koi mixer hai, fridge hai jo kharab ho jayega

cook bol raha hai kharab ho gaya, waise thoda pagal hai woh .

Wohi nahi saare hi pagal hai, yeh restaurant nahi pagalkhane ka cafeteria hai

Sir, aap hamara omelette try karo woh hamara speciality hai

(pissed off) maaf kar mere baap, nahi chahiye teri fresh omelette, jaake pehle murgi ko poochega abhi anda dene ka mood hai kya, agar uska mood hua to bhi tere yede cook ka mood nahi hoga

Pavan (to Sarika): I am really sorry, Let’s go to some other place.

Actually Pavan, I am getting late, mujhe please ghar chodd do.

&^*## Chucky ek aur baar marawa diya tune. Why o why I listen to your advices. It must have been the worst day of my life when I met you.

Well that day was about 10 months back, the 1st day of Pavan’s training, when the batch owner announced his PC partners name.

To be continued