Oye Chucky Chucky Oye – Part 3 (The language used in this story is a mix of English and Hindi)

The Next morning, Pavan and Chucky heading to office in Company Bus

Pavan (looking towards Chucky’s unusually red left ear): Abe yeh tere left kaan ko kya hua? Phone ki jagah istri (Iron) kaan to laga li kya?

Chucky: Nahin re, kal phone pe baat karte karte aankh lag gayee. Lekin Sweeto (his girlfriend) kahan rukne wali thi, uski baatein chalti rahin, phone charging pe to tha hi, 3-4 ghanto mein overheat ho gaya aur kaan ka haal tawe par bina tel ke buni hui omlette jaisa ho gaya !

Kya batao yaar, She totally loves talking on phone. Agar kabhi call karne mein der ho jaaye, to maafi magne ke liye 2 pappi (kisses) usse deni padhti hain aur 2 uske phone ko. Jab paida hui hogi na, delivery se 5-10 minutes pehle, andar se hi Mom ko missed call kar diya hoga, aa rahi hoon batane ke liye J J

Waah kya ram milaye jodi hai

Are yaar kya thakela driver hai, kitna slow chala raha hai.

(standing, shouting at the driver) Yeh bus company jaa rahi ya picnic par, thoda bhagao bhai.

Bus driver, mutters something under his breath and presses on the accelerator.

(in full volume) oye gaadi chali hai chalanga mar di …………….

Driver, gets even more charged up, speeds up more.

Abe baith jaa mere baap, driver ke andar ke sooye hue Michael Schumacher ko mat jaaga, marwayega sabko

But it was too late, by the time the bus reached office, majority in the bus were suffering from motion sickness

When they enter the company gate, Pavan is stopped by company’s Z+ security.

Security Guard: Sir, Apne dress code follow nahi kiya.

(looking at himself) Kyun, sab kuch barabar to hain.

Sir, Aapka Tie formal nahi hai

Tie mein formal, informal kya hota hai?

Yeh Tie pe chand tare ka design bana hua hai, aisa design wala kapda sirf Sukarvaar ko allowed hain.

(frustrated) To kya Friday ko T-shirt pe dalun yeh Tie.

Achaa chodo boss, galti ho gaya, agli bar se nahi pehoonga yeh tie.

Nahi Sir, policy ke mutabik aapko fine lagega.

Are kyun choti si baat ka batangad bana rahe hon.

Kya sir, Kaise chotta baat hai, kal apna customer aapko aise dekhega to kya sochega, ki India mein logo ko tie pehne bhi nahi aata !

(mutters under his breath) Haan mereko hi dekhne ke liye aa raha hai na client. &@#%& aaj ka din hi kharab hai, Pata nahi kiska mooh dekha tha suboh suboh, of course Chucky ka !

Dejected, Pavan heads towards the classroom for the morning lecture. Seeing Sarika pass by, he starts to say Hi to her. Suddenly, Chucky appears from behind and tickles him.

Pavan : H Haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii (the tickling made his Hi come out like a scream)

Sarika (turning towards him with a snap): kya hua, aise dhadhe kyun mar rahe hon, pet mein marode pad rahi hai kya, lagta hain Shruti ki tarah tumhari bhi tabiyat kharab hai.

Kya hua Shruti ko?

Achaa badee chinta hai Shruti ki.

Nahin, nothing like that, I mean..

Ohh ho, jyada masoom mat bano, sab pata hai mujhe, don’t worry, minor stomach ache hai, kal aa jayegi office. Chalo catch u later.

(turning towards Chucky) &@#%& *$@&, dekh teri wajah se kya hua, she’s convinced now that I am after Shruti.

Pavan goes into the classroom and takes his seat. To his utter dismay, Chucky comes and sits besides him.

Abe yahan bhi peecha nahi chodega kya, itna bandwidth mat de mujhe bhai (pointing towards a guy in another corner) woh dekh Johnson ko, mujhe yahan se uski aankhon mein tairte hue aanshoo dikhayee de rahe hain, jaroor koi solid love problem hoga, jaa usse teri jyada jaroorat hai.

(filmy andaaz mein) nahin, main tera gunehgaar hoon. Jab jab tera yeh bujha hua chehra meri aankhoon ke samne aayega, tab tab mere andar ki aag aur bhadakegi aur utne jaldi mujhe ek jabardast idea aayega. Mein tab tak tere saath saaye ki tarah rahoonga jab tak tere jeevan mein pyaar ke phool na khila doon.

Chupp kar filmy malariyee, mera chehra bujha hua nahi suja hua hai, teri wajah se raat theek se soya nahi hoon.

The lecture starts. During the lecture, Pavan sees that rather than paying attention to the instructor, Chucky is engrossed reading the course material book in his hand.

Pavan (looking towards Chucky) Pehle kabhi to tujhe itne dhyaan se padhai karte nahi dekha (noticing something) abe yeh kya chupaya hua tune course book mein, koi magazine hai kya

Pavan tries unsuccessfully to pull the magazine out of Chucky’s Hand.

Kya kar raha hai.

Dikha konsi magazine hai ?

Bahut achii magazine hai. It contains things that today’s men should be knowledgeable about like Gadgets, Sports, Cars..

And girls I am sure (this time Pavan successfully grabs the magazine) ‘Maxim’ and what is this article ‘Soha Ali khan bares her soul and some other things too’. %^$#@ %@#$%#

(Chucky snatches the magazine back) Padhne de na yaar, kitna boring lecture hai.

Abe pagal ho gaya hai kya, agar M’am ne dekh liya na to band baja degi, de idhar bag mein rakhta hoon.

Unfortunately, Pavan tugs at the magazine little too hard and it goes flying and he trying to catch it, bends and trips over the seat in front. The magazine lands 3-4 rows ahead and the instructor gets her hand to it before anyone else. The bold magazine leaves the instructor fuming and Pavan does not even get a chance to explain his position, not that he would have blamed Chucky in any case.

The next hour was the most embarrassing one of his life. The grilling by the instructor and the batch supervisor was followed by the punishment, 2 weeks suspension, having to prepare and clear 2 of the courses on his own.

Pavan used the 2 weeks break to visit his home.

2 weeks later

Pavan is back in office. Of all people, he runs into Chucky.

Chucky: Hey buddy, whats up ?

Pavan: %^$#@ %@#$%# mat aa mere saamne, sach bolta hoon, gala daba doonga tera

Abhi tak wohi baat pakad ke baitha hai, mein to tere liye good news laya hoon.

Tu aur good news, impossible!

Sach mein, ek nahin do do ! Pehli wali news to tu imagine bhi nahi karna sakta, Shruti is no longer behind you.

That’s obvious man, after that incident..

Nahin re, that’s not the reason, I am the reason, she’s my girl friend now. Tere liye maine apni bali chada di.

Abe chupp kar tere yeh filmy dialogue, what happened to your old girlfriend, woh phone wali.

Are yaar, she dumped me.

Ha ha, muje laga nahi tha woh itni smart nikalegi. What happened?

Aisehi yaar, uski woh phone ki bimari was affecting my social life. One day, I had to go to a party aur uska phone call to khatam hone ka naam hi nahi le raha tha. To main ek friend ko phone tika diya, bola ki tu call sambhal le, sirf har 4-5 minutes mein ‘haan’ bolte rehna, sunti to kuch hain nahin woh, bas apni ramayan sunati rehti hain. Aaj kal outsourcing ka jamana hai, maine kar di to kya paap kar diya. Idea hit ho gaya to I tried it 2-3 times more, ek baar woh Sanju ko bola, usne gadbad kar di. Itna frustrate ho gaya Sweeto ki baton se ke seedhe chila ke bol diya ki bakwaas band karo apni. Ho gaya story ka the end !

Wah..love ki outsourcing; aisi khurafat sirf tere hi shaitani dimag mein aa sakti hain. Good news ka to pata nahi but I am worried about Shruti now, kaise jhelegi tujhe. But, anyway kya fayda, meri image ka to kachra ho chukka hai.

Are, wohi to second good news hai, that incident has not spoilt your image teri image to ab jaake bani hai.

Kya bakwaas kar raha hai.

Seriously, pehle sab ladkiyan tujhe Padaku, boring types samajti thi. But after this, you are the badest boy of the batch and as they say girls love bad boys.

%^$#@ kya paka raha hai.

Bharosa nahi karna hai to mat kar but baad mein aake thanks jaroor bolna jab har doosri ladki tujhe line dene lagegi.

To be continued…..